A Forever Kind of Thing

38 Days.
Our due date is in 38 days. I go through these phases where I can't wait for her to get here because I feel like I've been waiting and prepping for her arrival my whole life. Then there are other phases where I feel like we're not ready at all. I'm just a 21 year old girl and he's just a 25 year old boy and we can't even begin to comprehend what we've gotten ourselves into.

So we have 38 days to figure it all out and all I could think about tonight while we were lying on the couch together watching Vin Diesel throw himself into ridiculously unrealistic situations was, "I don't know if I want someone intruding on what Brady and I have created with each other over the past 20 months." I like my husband. I'm very jealous for him and his attention. I'm just afraid of the change that is bound to come knocking. Because a baby changes everything.

Just look at that stick. Just look at my living room. We've got diapers and wet wipes and baby clothes and baby things galore. Don't get me wrong! I love this little girl. I love her so much I could burst. All I've ever wanted to be is a mother but I just became a wife. And I really really love being a wife. I'm just a little scared that when the baby comes I might not have the easiest time juggling.
I know it'll be okay. I know my world will be enhanced and enriched by all these new things. I'm just freaking out because I counted the days till our due date and it's coming sooner rather than later and I just know that once she's here then it's real. Then I'm a Mom. And being a Mom is a forever kind of thing.

34 Weeks 5 Days Pregnant