nursing, nursing, nursing.

two months old.
Today. Can't believe it. Plain and simple.

sexy.

I strike random poses all the time. It's my attempt at being "sexy" and it makes Brady laugh like crazy.

Last night I whispered a sultry "hey" before striking a pose in the hall. Brady's look of horror was my first indication that something might be wrong-- my second was all the shattering that followed. Sexy me knocked every picture frame off the hallway wall. That's right. I'm dangerous-- to wall hangings at least.

wednesday night.
On Wednesday we traveled to Truefire (my favorite restaurant) for a late anniversary/birthday celebration with my parents. Avey was smiling and content until we were polishing off our our appetizers and then she let me have it.

Give it a few months and we'll start working on patience.

I get so deeply uncomfortable when she cries so I took out my udder cover and we nursed. We did remarkably well. It was our first time to nurse at a public place. I just acted like it wasn't a big deal and then-- it wasn't. No one even looked at us strangely. The waitress averted her eyes but that was it!

nursing.
We've come such a long way in regards to nursing. When we arrived home from the hospital I was pumping every 2-3 hours and Avey would drink it out of a bottle. We weren't able to try nursing until she was three days old in the hospital and at that point she was so tiny-- our anatomies were mismatched plain and simple. When she was four days old someone told us about something called a nipple shield. It's a silicone little bottle-like nipple that you use when trying to breastfeed a baby that needs extra help.

She was hooked on the bottle and the nipple shield. By the time she was four weeks old I was exhausted. We would begin with the nipple sheild. She would nurse but tire quickly, I would pump for 15-20 mins on each side, and then I would give her a bottle. By the time I was done with the whole process it was time to begin again.

Formula wasn't an option. Breast is best. I wasn't about to stop trying to do what was best for her because it would be more convenient for me.

Brady encouraged me to go cold turkey and take her off of the bottle, pacifier, and nipple shield. If she didn't have any other options she would have to nurse. It was an excruciating, tear-filled weekend. We began on a Thursday night. The first time we tried to nurse we ended up trying for six hours straight. She wouldn't latch correctly. I was completely raw from pulling her off without breaking suction first. Neither one of us knew what we were doing.

She fell asleep hungry and I felt like a terrible mother. I wanted to quit but Brady encouraged me, he told me I could do it, he told me to just hang on a little while longer-- just through the weekend. He took off work on Friday so he could stay home and help.

We saw little success in the first two days. She only latched and nursed correctly three times. We fed her by squirting a syringe full of breast milk in her mouth because I didn't want her to feel like she was starving. We continued to try.

By Sunday night I was so raw I had little speckles of blood pop up but she was doing better and we were seeing progress. It was unbearable for me though. I had never been in so much pain in my entire life. I am not over exaggerating at all. It felt like my nipples were on fire at all times. When she would try to latch I would cry. I all but cussed out Brady on several occasions. I couldn't stand when he was around us but I needed him to lean on. I literally couldn't live with him and couldn't live without him. I was completely miserable.

Then on Monday something amazing happened. We nursed for an entire day without any problems. I was still very sore but I knew that we had made it past the worst. We pushed through the hump and we were coming down the other side of the hill. Everything looked so much brighter.

We're pros now. I am so glad we worked so hard to accomplish it. I feel bonded to her in a way I know that we wouldn't be if I would have kept her on the bottle. Nursing is such a privilege. I still pump every once in awhile and Brady still feeds her with the bottle every once in awhile but not often. I love nursing. I love the way her little eyes roll back into her head when my milk lets down. The way she smiles if I whisper in her ear while we nurse. The way she still makes her "nurse" face while she's sleeping. I know she loves it just as much as I do.

uncle colin.
Loves his Avey. I've been spending a lot of time over at my parents house lately and the second he walks in the door after he gets off work at 2pm he scoops her up and I don't see her for the next hour. Colin and I have been playing mom and dad since Bethany was born.

Brothers gonna be a bad a** Daddy.

 wedding cake.
After dinner on Wednesday we headed back to my parents to enjoy some of our leftover wedding cake from a year ago.

I was surprised because it was actually decent.

 caption contest.
And the winner of the FB caption contest....

"I got your nose!!!" -Kim Baughman

last night.
Brady goes to a prayer meeting on Friday nights but last night he decided to stay home because he wanted to spend time with me. It made me feel so good. We watched The Office and I made homemade ice cream.

It was the best night.

I Came From Where?!?!

Avey and I are having  a lazy morning listening to Big Daddy Weave on Pandora and hiding underneath the covers while the sky pours outside.

I am so blessed to have a husband who works hard so that I can stay home. Being Aveys mommy is the most fulfilling and rewarding position I've ever held. I realize that getting to spend every moment with her is a privilege and that not every mommy is afforded the same privilege. Thank you Lord for providing for my husband and I.

She is so silly.

As is custom for every person on earth in January-- Brady and I have made a resolution to begin a raw whole foods diet. We kissed being a carnivore good-bye for the time being. I'm excited to see what improvements are made in our health.

 Hi-Yaw! Kay-Raw-Tay!

As most of you know I have Hypo-Thyroid disease. I had accepted the fact that I would be on pills everyday for the rest of my life. After watching a documentary called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead where  an Australian man cured his autoimmune disease with a juice fast-- I've been encouraged. If his body can heal itself so can mine. It's time to clean out this temple and start this year fresh-- healed-- Holy.

Baby girl agrees. It's a grand idea. 

Yesterday was our anniversary. We spent some time at home and took our time getting ready. We went ghetto and decided to eat at Applebee's because we had a giftcard. Our waitress was awful but aside from that it was a nice lunch that neither one of us had to prepare or pay for. We held hands the whole time while making frequent glances at the sleeping baby in the carrier.


Note the dirty diaper. Classy.

I was surprised the other day when I laid Avey down after her 2am feeding when she didn't cry-- she just laid there smiling and chatting quietly to herself.  I went back to bed and so did she. She did it again last night. It's a relief to know that my independent girl doesn't need me to rock her to sleep every time I lay her down.

Shes got this. 

Her eyes are still blue-- she's rockin' it.

Tana came for a visit. All the way from Alabama just to see little one. Well-- not exactly but Avey fueled her motivation.

Blessed to have friends that care for me and my family. Tana and Tori oohhed and aahhed like Avey was glitter.

She is pretty impressive.

Sometimes we just sit and have nonsensical conversations. I have a feeling that we'll continue doing this until one or both of us are gone. She's just so cool and I thrive on her sweet baby coo's, face engulfing smiles, and kisses. I could live on her kisses.

Have a beautiful Monday. Don't work too hard. Hold the ones you love close. Inhale their scent. Make strives to never forget these moments.

And with this I leave you with the words of the winner of the facebook caption contest-- Zuzu Ford:

"I came from where?!?!"

1 Year

It's 11am and we're still in bed. We were out till 3am last night. I used to be a night person and now I'm a mom. Its the sad-- or certain-- reality I now face. Hellooooo motherhood!

Avey is licking my leg to death right now so I'm going to try to make this post quick.

A year ago this second I was getting all made up in my mothers bathroom while Brady, his parents, the Elenburgs and my family waited in the living room.

A year ago today I got to marry my best friend. The peanut butter to my jelly.

And what a year it's been! To a thousand more adventures! To four more babies! To living a long modest life in the country-- on our own land-- in the home that we build with a wrap around porch. To watching sunsets and sunrises with you by my side. To getting mad and making up. To lots of making up. 

You are my whole world. I am so mad about you. I want to grow wrinkly with you.

Happy Anniversary.