Grow Together Or Apart

There is something sacred about the darkness, the stillness, and the silence that comes with night time. Brady and I lay together as close as we can get in the quite-- whispering things about our day, our dreams--tomorrow. I always want to have this time with him. Night time.



I will purpose my days to give him my nights.



I thought I was in love when we got married but if that was love than this is so so much more than love.



There is no piece of me that is hidden from him. He has seen it all. More than I was comfortable with at times but all nonetheless. The most affirming experience of my life was when he vowed to take the bad--the ugly--the not nice stuff--not just so he could get the good-- but because he wanted it. He was jealous for it. Because it was a part of me.



And any part of me to him is exquisitely good.



He is the strongest, kindest, gentlest human being I've ever known. No one compares. There is no competition. There is no doubt in my mind that every piece of him was made for every piece of me. He complements my madness. He thinks I'm hilarious. He likes what I look like without makeup. He likes to pepper kisses all over my face.



He gives me so much more than I deserve. Brady lays down his life for me like Christ laid down his life for the church. He continually sacrifices his wants and needs to serve me, to please me, to show me love in the most tangible and intangible ways.



It is my deepest hope that one day he can say that I've given him just as much life as he's given me.



One of my darkest moments was the day Avey was born. Getting wheeled in for a c-section after having meticulously planned an all natural birth and finding out that our baby was sick. That we weren't going to be able to take her home with us-- she wasn't even allowed to stay in the same room as us-- we had to leave and she had to stay.



He was there for the ugly tears. He was there for the showers that I was too weak to take by myself. He was there to wedge himself into a twin size hospital bed with me because I needed to be held. He was there to help me get to the bathroom because I couldn't do it by myself. He wheeled me to and from the nicu a million times. He reminded me to eat. He made a breast pumping schedule and cleaned all the little pieces after every use. Massaged tired muscles, refilled my water cup 1235983209581 times, held my hand, delivered milk to the nicu at 2am, and told me that everything was going to be okay--until I believed him.



We had the choice to grow together or grow apart. He didn't hesitate and neither did I.



The way he loved me during that time was so healing.

I am excited for our future and where we're heading. I know that no matter what comes my way I'll be able to face it with him by my side. God blessed me with such an incredible gift and I am so thankful.