Cardinal In May

woah nelly.
I started this post two weeks ago. Time has not been kind to me. Everything lately is taking longer than I think it will--or should. Between our work schedule on the duplex, the slowest internet connection in the world, and friends coming in and going out of town-- my life has been a fast paced wreck lately.

Laundry baskets piled high in our itty bitty shared room at my Grandparents. The bed remains unmade. The dresser remains clutter central and our home is still unfinished. In the midst of all this life has gone on. We have been with my Grandparents for a month now. Avey is a half year old now. I know how to hem a pair of pants and use my Grandmas embroidery machine now.

Though hectic--our crazy, unordinary life is pretty great. Carnivals, honey stores, quilting shops, a vineyard down the street that I am still dying to explore-- life has been busy and exciting and unyielding this past month.

We have been living with two people that work harder and longer than most I know. I have been inspired to work harder myself. Spend less time online and spend more time connecting with people face to face. We are learning a lot-- wipe stain off as you go, oil based paint will leave you with semi-perminate henna-like tattoos, Avey hates it when you say "woah-nelly", and sewing faster does not mean sewing better.

We are learning together--lessons I'm glad we're learning now while we're young and have the energy to take it out and do it again--though not always the patience. We're working on that--I pray that the Lord will always give us something to work on.

hi.
Two Saturdays ago-- after Brady and I got home from working at the dulex (Brady working--me watching) my Grandma took Avey and I sat across from them, waving. To my surprise--after every time I waved she'd put her right arm in the air and wave her hand around.

Sister is smart.


Since a week ago I have caught her waving at herself countless times. Open-close hand movements, turned toward her face as she watches--transfixed. I haven't been able to get a photo yet but I will--mark my words.

Sneaky!! She is laying right next to me waving right now and of course my camera is in the other room!

ave.
She likes to look at me when she topples over. She'll be playing one minute, toppled over on the floor the next, and every time she looks at me like "What just happened? Am I okay? What now mom?" Sometimes I freeze too--waiting for the cry that I am sure she is about let out. Most of the time I cheer and then she laughs, rights herself, and continues to play.

friends.
My Grandparents invited us to a little carnival that their church was putting on for the volunteers and their families. I jumped at the chance and Brady went along with it because he knew I was so excited. We had a ball and bumped into a couple familiar faces.

minus.
Last month my cycle returned (oh joy). It was strange and unexpected. I felt like a 12 year old again. Last week  (If I had regular cycles) marked when I should have started again. Since Saturday I have been obsessing over ovulation trackers, due date calculators, and the chinese gender chart. I said time and time again that I didn't want to get pregnant until I lost some weight but when I saw that if I got pregnant in May that I would have a boy (according to the chart) I got all excited and hopeful.

We aren't using contraceptives. It's a choice that we made together after several uti's from using spermicides and a visit with our doctor where in a round-about way she admitted that all contraceptives (except for condoms and spermicides) can be abortive. We discussed it and decided that we were ready to have a family and we wanted to place it in the Lords hands. A month later we found out we were pregnant with Avey.

After I had Avey I expressed my desire to never again start out a pregnancy over 200 lbs. It was very taxing on my body. I am still about 5 lbs over and I have a ways to go before I get to my goal weight but there was something that excited me at the prospect of being pregnant again and conceiving a little brother for Ave.

So when I saw that little minus sign on the pregnancy test my heart sunk a little.

trist.
My  brother Tristan celebrated his 11th birthday last week. To celebrate Avey got all dolled up in a pretty dress and accompanied him to cold stone where she slept through the joys of candy bars incased in ice cream and brand new 11 year olds whose eyes are bigger than their tummies.

water bottle.
The return of Avey's water bottle love affair. No joke-- if anyone even walks by her with a water bottle she goes nuts-- reaching, stretching, moaning, shaking-- sisters got it bad.

sweet dreams.
People like to nap around these parts. It is such an enjoyable past time-- one I am lucky enough to share in on occasion.

big baby.
Avey was bottle fed for the first month of her life. We began breastfeeding around 2 months old and we haven't looked back. Because of her obsession with water bottles we decided to buy her a sippy cup so that she could drink water instead of spill it all down her front.

Sippy cup day one and she was working it like a pro.

She still refuses to take milk out of anything though. Bottle-no. Cup- no. Water bottle- no. She knows where that comes from and she's hooked. I don't mind. :)

cardinal in may.
Look what we spotted in the backyard the other day...

Life is good.

Availeth Joy: Neonatal Intensive Care Unit

November 21, 2011
If you haven't read Avey's birth story you can read it here.
Today we had a little girl. When we arrived at the hospital we were immediately hooked up to fetal monitoring and shortly thereafter were told that Avey was having some pretty massive heart decells. The hospital staff wasted no time. We were in and out of the OR within the hour. A few weeks before I went into labor I noticed decreased fetal movement but I thought that it was because sister was growing and because she was bigger she wasn't able to move around as much. I googled it and other mothers noted that they had decreased fetal movements in the last few months of pregnancy so I didn't think much of it.


I had a friend who went to the ER multiple times during her pregnancy for decreased fetal movement and it never amounted to anything. It was my greatest concern that I would be a bother. I didn't want to be that girl but looking back I wish I had been.





When Avey was born she was swimming in a big pile of meconium (a baby's first bowel movement) they theorized that she'd been in it for quite some time. Her umbilical cord was  stained dark green. The doctor said that she was stressed because my placenta was not functioning like it should have. It had weird purple, rubbery, lesions on it. The doctor said that it looked like swirls or waves. After 20 years in the medical field she had never seen anything like it.


During Avey's birth I remember her commenting "The placenta looks old." After having the placenta sent to the pathologist's lab they still were unable to determine what happened exactly. One thing is for sure-- sister was not getting the nutrition she needed. Which was why she was so small. 5 lbs 1 oz and term.


"They took Avey to the nicu because her blood sugar and temperature is low. I only got to see her for ten minutes today."


November 22, 2011
Brady and I received a phone call from the nicu this morning saying that I could try to give Avey a bottle for her 9am feeding if we made it down to the nicu in time. My nurse almost didn't let me go. They had just removed my epidural and my legs were still a little numb. It was hard to stand up and make it to the wheel chair but I was determined. I hadn't seen Avey in 18 hours.





We only stayed in the nicu for a short amount of time because my nurse told me not to overdue it. They told me I could come back for every feeding if I'd like to. 3,6,9,12. Avey's blood sugar and temperature are still low. They gave her an IV to boost her sugars. I just hope we can take her home when we leave Thursday. I might beg them to let me stay till Friday if they don't let her come home Thursday.


Avey had her first bath today. She is so beautiful and her little cry is so funny!


"I have the most incredible husband in the world. Can not believe how well he takes care of me. Avey Williams is blessed to have such a loving Daddy."




November 23, 2011
8:42am-- Things are looking good! They told us we may have be able to have in her in our room as early as tonight! "Thank you everyone for your kind and encouraging words. I am feeling much better and I'm getting around really well. Still very sore but the incision is healing well. Avey is a champ. Her blood sugar has been perfect for the last 24 hours and she is maintaining her body temp all by herself. We are so in love."






5:12pm-- Received some pretty devastating news. Aveys platelet count is very low. They never mentioned it. I guess they've been keeping an eye on it all this time. I was shocked when pediatrics told us that they were going to have to give her a transfusion. This isn't fair. They said that sometimes when two people who have different platelet types have a baby the baby inherits the dominant platelets, which sometimes belong to the Father. If the baby's platelets are different than the mothers than after 
birth the body attacks the foreign  platelets.


If this is what had happened it could take up to two weeks for her body to get rid of my platelets. I feel like this is all my fault.  




"Keep praying. Baby girl is having a platelet transfusion. She'll probably be in the NICU for awhile."




November 24, 2011
Happy first Thanksgiving baby girl!






"Meet Availeth Joy Williams. This is right after her feeding tube came out so she still has tape on her chin. The nurse was rushing to get the tube back in so the video is a little shaky. Baby girl is so brave. She is doing so well in the NICU."













I was overjoyed when they took the tubes out of her nose and put her under a humidity hood. No more stuffy nose for baby Avey!


Still no improvement in her platelet levels. Doctors still don't know what is causing this. 







November 25, 2011
Four days old and she is so alert! They were able to remove her feeding tube today she is eating all by herself now. All we are waiting on now is her platelet count which still remains very low. The doctors are a little baffled.









November 26, 2011
The doctors no longer believe that Avey and I have different platelet types. If we did the IV IG would have fixed the problem. They don't know what is causing this. 


I was discharged today. We stayed at the hospital in the nicu all day. I refused to go home. Around 8pm we went to Target to pick up a couple things. I broke down in the parking lot. I sat in the passenger side of Brady's truck and cried because things are so different then I thought they'd be. I am not supposed to leave the hospital without my full term baby. 


I wasn't suposed to have a c-section. 


I wasn't suposed to have to ask for permission to hold my baby and change her diaper. People were supposed to ask me. I'm jealous of the nurses that get to love on her all day. I'm jealous that they get to spend all night with her while I am sent home. This is not how things are supposed to be. 


10:26am-- "Availeth is off her humidity hood, feeding tube, and everything that was wrong is perfect now except for her platelet levels, that even though she had a transfusion and IV IG, continue to drop. Please keep praying. Brady and I left the hospital at 10 last night. Pumping and feedings are keeping us busy. I am at peace and on a mission. Baby girls gonna get better."






November 27, 2011
5:14pm--"Ok. So. Here's the deal. After another transfusion yesterday Avey's platelets are at 121. Great! Now. They are going to test her again tomorrow. If the count goes up... she comes home! :) If the count stays the same... she stays till she normalizes. :/ If the count goes down... they transfer her to Medical City. :( Prayers are being answered. She is doing so much better. believe with us and for us that our little girl is healed and coming home tomorrow!"

November 28, 2011
7:39am--"Happy One Week Birthday Baby Girl!!! We will be celebrating one week of life at Baylor Frisco. Her levels stayed the same. I am a happy momma."

November 29, 2011

7:15am--"Prayers have been answered! Avey is coming home today! On her due date!"

Avey's favorite nurse!

Her going home outfit was 2385713745 times too big!

Such a proud papa!

Putting the car seat class we took to good use!

The most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Hmmm... I wonder where I'm going?

We were so excited to get her home! I video taped the walk from the nicu to the car. 

I'm home!

Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead

I was one of the lucky ones. Those girls you hate in high school because they have perfect skin and long thick hair. When I was about 18 I started loosing my hair due to an autoimmune disease. It literally fell out in handfuls and it still does at times. It's why I cut my hair short. I hoped that no one would notice just how thin my hair had become. I'm told that no matter how they adjust my medication hair loss is a part of having an autoimmune disease and once it starts it can't be stopped.

I got a zit on my chin at the end of March. I had never gotten a zit on my chin before March 2011. That's how I found out that I was pregnant. I woke up, saw the zit and knew that that was the only explanation. Now I have a fine sprinkling of little zits across the bottom of my face and hair line. Goodbye clear skin. Hopefully you'll come back someday.

What I've learned from this is not to put my faith in my looks because they could be gone tomorrow. Find a man who loves you regardless because if you don't he'll be gone when your hair starts falling out, the zits appear, and you start putting on the "I'm comfortable with you weight."

I was 100% comfortable in my skin before I met Brady, even though I was 80 lbs overweight with more stretch marks than a pregnant woman. I started packing on the weight around 16 and wasn't diagnosed with hypothyroid disease until I had gained 80 lbs (3 years later). Even though I was fat I hadn't lost a shred of confidence because my faith wasn't in my looks.

Brady met me, fell in love with me, proposed to me, married me and knocked me up all within the span of a year and a half and my weight fluctuated. Some weeks I was up others I was down. By the time I met him I had been on my meds for a year and the docs had finally found the right dosage to make it so that I could start loosing weight again. When you're dating though you don't want to diet! You want to go out to dinner and eat pasta and bread! I didn't worry about my weight so much until he proposed. My weight was down then. I decided I wanted to get back in shape for the wedding but since we got married a month later I didn't have much time. I lost about 10 lbs after we got married and before I got pregnant. For obvious reason I am not trying to loose weight now.

After watching a documentary called, "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead," about a man who had an autoimmune disease Brady and I decided we wanted to try the juice fast. The diet consists of juicing large amounts of fruits, veggies, nuts, and beans. We are so excited to start though we are going to take it slow until I deliver and then we'll kick it up a notch and really start working at getting the weight off.

Through everything he is my cheerleader. Fat or skinny he loves me just the same... he does encourage me to get healthy though (I'm a sucker for french fries and salty foods). Who isn't? I want to be a healthy Mom. I do not want to go into my next pregnancy 80 lbs overweight. It's too grueling on my frame. I want to encourage our kids to be healthy and to stay away from processed foods. It's going to be a long journey but I think we're up for the challenge.