Why Are You Dating?

The birthday festivities continued into the weekend. We danced, we dined-- it was marvelous. Afterward Brady and I headed to my parents for yet another game night. I stayed downstairs with the high schoolers reveling in their teenage drama and the fact that they'll look back one day and have a face palm moment. 

Was I really ever so naive to believe that I knew everything?

I know that when I was 16 I whole heartedly believed that I was ready for adult responsibility. That I could get married, settle down, start a family-- and I could have. But I'm glad I didn't. I was still figuring out who I was at 16 I don't know how I intended to contribute anything meaningful (other than feelings) to a relationship.

My parents got married when they were young and unestablished. For so long I believed that was how you were supposed to do it. By the time I was 18 I felt like an old maid--it depressed me because I felt like I was supposed to have my life all pieced together by then... much like my parents. What I failed to take into account was my parents relationship in their first 6 years of marriage. It was terribly hard. Divorce was contemplated. Two kids that hadn't even figured themselves out entered into an adult union.

Growing up was forced instead of gradual. 

God inevitably intervened and my parents are still together but if he hadn't. Things were headed downhill fast. There is no telling where we'd all be today. There probably wouldn't be seven of us. I know I wouldn't have the same view of marriage that I do today.

My point-- there is so much pressure, when you're a girl in high school, to date, to be in a relationship, to find your "soul mate". My perspective--the perspective of a former teenager-- I don't think it's smart to date in high school-- if you're looking for a spouse. I think it is best to wait until your hormones have calmed down and your brain is running the show instead of your heart (Jeremiah 17:9).

Sure. There are people who meet in high school, get married, and spend the rest of their lives together. I'm not saying it doesn't work. I just think it makes it harder in the beginning. It absolutely makes it harder to stay pure. If you meet the love of your life when you're a freshman you better be walking pretty close to Jesus because the next four years are going to be rough and at 14 you don't really have the option to marry instead of burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9). At 14 there is pretty much only burning.

When I was 16 I had a boyfriend who I wanted to marry. It would have been awful if we did. We were two completely different people-- though we sure did love each other a lot. Love is not enough to make it work. If there are no common goals or interests-- if Christ is not the center of your relationship and life. It doesn't work. Don't even let your heart go there (Proverbs 4:23).

"In whatever man does without God, he must fail miserably or succeed even more miserably." *George McDonald

There was a four year period of time where I struggled to move on. The heart is really a deceitful, wicked, thing (Jeremiah 17:9). I almost missed out on the best thing that has ever happened to me because of it. I was still talking to my ex when I met Brady. I very quickly realized that if I wanted to be in a healthy relationship with anyone I had to permanently sever ties.

It wasn't easy and that is why I love speaking to the younger generation about these things. Because I've been there. Because my parents have been there. Because history loves to repeat itself. Because no matter how much that 14 year old boy tells you he loves you--you are still not ready to marry him and he is still not ready to marry you. And if neither one of you are in a position to get married-- why are you dating?

Sucked Up Like Dorothy

shred.
I put the shred on hold for a couple of days because my left knee started to really act up and per Brady's request-- instead of risking serious injury-- I took a break to let it heal up a bit. Today I begin once more. Which makes it day 14 or day 1. Haven't decided how I'm going to look at it yet.



I am still on Level 1-- I can make it all the way through every exercise without stopping except for push-ups, the static lunges with bicep curls, and the interior raises with side lunges. Which is a huge improvement from day 1 when I couldn't even make it eight minutes.

Weight loss has been gradual, like I knew it would be. This morning I weighed in at 211. Which means I've lost 9 lbs. Pre-pregnancy I was 209. That is a milestone I am really looking foreword to. I hope to be there by next Monday-- we'll see!


For the last week I've been having issues with my bm's which is something that has never happened to me before. Last weekend I was in so much pain I took a stool softener. I've read that when people begin a workout routine or change their eating habits its something that can happen but it wasn't something I was expecting. I'm trying to eat lots of fiber rich foods to get back on track. Hopefully it can all be resolved fairly quickly because I don't do well with stomach pain... or any pain for that matter.

baybay.
Sister is getting so big! She loves to sit up. Leave her on her back and she'll fuss but sit her up so she can look around the room and she's as happy as a clown.

 

On the 21'st of this month she'll be 5 months old and that to me is unreal. Our hospital stay seems like such a long time ago but it doesn't feel like we've had her for 4 1/2 months-- certainly not almost 1/2 a year.

We've retired all of her newborn clothes. It was easier than I thought it would be. I was excited to put her in something new. Excited to see that she's healthy and growing like she should be. We are in 0-3 month clothes now and this week I was able to put her in 3 month pants and they didn't fall off.


 

We have also had a run in with the big scary teething monster. It is so far from pretty. If she isn't being held with something in her mouth or nursed she is fussing and my brain can't handle it. It's super sad because I know she's not feeling well but by 8pm my sentiments are, "If you can't beat 'em-- join 'em." So that is what I do and then we both make Brady miserable. It's awesome.






lunch date.
At chipotle with my mother.





Then there was a Target stop for Easter presents and groceries.

 

Avey is fascinated with the way things look-- I guess it's because she's never seen any of it before. She was a model baby showing off how perfect she can be-- until the book fell on her head. Totally my fault.

I set a Dr. Seuss book on top of the diaper bag--it fell and gave her a little wap on the head.

Bad Mommy Moment.

Then I gave her the box of nursing pads and she was A-OK.

Good Mommy Moment.
 


tornado.
Tuesday morning I was taking pictures of the rain, getting ready to write a post, and I opened up my laptop to see people freaking out about a tornado. Que phone call from Brady. He gave me the how-to  on making a shelter in the bathtub because I'm from California and all they teach you there is how to brace yourself in a doorway--thanks a lot California that does me a lot of good now.



I ran around the house collecting blankets, pillows, and chair cushions while Avey chilled in her bath seat.



Then I built a fort that looked way cooler when you were in it than outside of it.
 

We chilled out until we got the all clear from Brady. I feel like I should get Avey a t-shirt that says "I survived my first tornado."

Honestly, I'm just glad that everyone survived. Tornado in Dallas. I didn't expect to hear that it didn't claim any lives. I hoped but I didn't expect it.

Grateful to know that the Lord is in control.

 

Taking Out the Trash

You know how everyone has ideas about what a man should do around the house, and what a woman should do? Typically those ideas are grown from your parents ideas about what chores are proper for men, and what chores are proper for women. Like mowing the lawn, and taking out the trash is a mans job, doing the laundry, and cleaning the grout is a womans. That is what I grew up believing at least.

When I moved to Colorado a couple years ago to attend the New Life School of Worship I shared an apartment with two girls my age that also attended the school. I grew up living with six guys so there were things that I just never did around the house.

1. Mow the lawn
2. Take out the trash
3. Scoop the poop
4. Any kind of car maintenance
5. Any kind of yard work
etc.

Living with two girls (that came from families with lots of woman) was difficult in the respect that it was ingrained in me that I still should not have to take out the garbage (we didn't have grass, or yards, or shared vehicles, or animals or I'm sure we would have had more issues than trash).

It was crammed so far into my DNA that the thought of taking it out never actually entered my mind. It was something I never had to think about before. It would always magically disappear and a brand new empty bag would appear. Just like that. I was blessed.

So why am I sharing all this useless information with you? Because school was cancelled today and I've been working on my homework for the last two hours. Deciding it was high time for a break I ventured into the kitchen to find an overflowing trash can. Not only is it overflowing, the sight alone wouldn't have penetrated that deep, but the smell ranks about a 7 on the "worst smells I've ever smelled" list. All of these years of being blessed by brothers who know their place, and fights with roommates because I couldn't get over myself came flooding back to me. I raced back to our bedroom and my laptop knowing that I had to record this momentous occasion.

You guys... I'm going to take out the trash.

The embodiment of the dreaded chore itself.

I never knew it was so hard to pull a bag out of a plastic tub. 

Finally. 

I was on a roll.

Sitting safely outside where it will not bother anyones senses ever again... Except for Brady's when I make him take it out to the curb. Hey, Rome wasn't built in a day! 

P.S. You can click on the pictures to make them bigger! I just discovered this!