Saturday, January 21, 2012

nursing, nursing, nursing.

two months old.
Today. Can't believe it. Plain and simple.

I strike random poses all the time. It's my attempt at being "sexy" and it makes Brady laugh like crazy.

Last night I whispered a sultry "hey" before striking a pose in the hall. Brady's look of horror was my first indication that something might be wrong-- my second was all the shattering that followed. Sexy me knocked every picture frame off the hallway wall. That's right. I'm dangerous-- to wall hangings at least.

wednesday night.
On Wednesday we traveled to Truefire (my favorite restaurant) for a late anniversary/birthday celebration with my parents. Avey was smiling and content until we were polishing off our our appetizers and then she let me have it.

Give it a few months and we'll start working on patience.

I get so deeply uncomfortable when she cries so I took out my udder cover and we nursed. We did remarkably well. It was our first time to nurse at a public place. I just acted like it wasn't a big deal and then-- it wasn't. No one even looked at us strangely. The waitress averted her eyes but that was it!

We've come such a long way in regards to nursing. When we arrived home from the hospital I was pumping every 2-3 hours and Avey would drink it out of a bottle. We weren't able to try nursing until she was three days old in the hospital and at that point she was so tiny-- our anatomies were mismatched plain and simple. When she was four days old someone told us about something called a nipple shield. It's a silicone little bottle-like nipple that you use when trying to breastfeed a baby that needs extra help.

She was hooked on the bottle and the nipple shield. By the time she was four weeks old I was exhausted. We would begin with the nipple sheild. She would nurse but tire quickly, I would pump for 15-20 mins on each side, and then I would give her a bottle. By the time I was done with the whole process it was time to begin again.

Formula wasn't an option. Breast is best. I wasn't about to stop trying to do what was best for her because it would be more convenient for me.

Brady encouraged me to go cold turkey and take her off of the bottle, pacifier, and nipple shield. If she didn't have any other options she would have to nurse. It was an excruciating, tear-filled weekend. We began on a Thursday night. The first time we tried to nurse we ended up trying for six hours straight. She wouldn't latch correctly. I was completely raw from pulling her off without breaking suction first. Neither one of us knew what we were doing.

She fell asleep hungry and I felt like a terrible mother. I wanted to quit but Brady encouraged me, he told me I could do it, he told me to just hang on a little while longer-- just through the weekend. He took off work on Friday so he could stay home and help.

We saw little success in the first two days. She only latched and nursed correctly three times. We fed her by squirting a syringe full of breast milk in her mouth because I didn't want her to feel like she was starving. We continued to try.

By Sunday night I was so raw I had little speckles of blood pop up but she was doing better and we were seeing progress. It was unbearable for me though. I had never been in so much pain in my entire life. I am not over exaggerating at all. It felt like my nipples were on fire at all times. When she would try to latch I would cry. I all but cussed out Brady on several occasions. I couldn't stand when he was around us but I needed him to lean on. I literally couldn't live with him and couldn't live without him. I was completely miserable.

Then on Monday something amazing happened. We nursed for an entire day without any problems. I was still very sore but I knew that we had made it past the worst. We pushed through the hump and we were coming down the other side of the hill. Everything looked so much brighter.

We're pros now. I am so glad we worked so hard to accomplish it. I feel bonded to her in a way I know that we wouldn't be if I would have kept her on the bottle. Nursing is such a privilege. I still pump every once in awhile and Brady still feeds her with the bottle every once in awhile but not often. I love nursing. I love the way her little eyes roll back into her head when my milk lets down. The way she smiles if I whisper in her ear while we nurse. The way she still makes her "nurse" face while she's sleeping. I know she loves it just as much as I do.

uncle colin.
Loves his Avey. I've been spending a lot of time over at my parents house lately and the second he walks in the door after he gets off work at 2pm he scoops her up and I don't see her for the next hour. Colin and I have been playing mom and dad since Bethany was born.

Brothers gonna be a bad a** Daddy.

 wedding cake.
After dinner on Wednesday we headed back to my parents to enjoy some of our leftover wedding cake from a year ago.

I was surprised because it was actually decent.

 caption contest.
And the winner of the FB caption contest....

"I got your nose!!!" -Kim Baughman

last night.
Brady goes to a prayer meeting on Friday nights but last night he decided to stay home because he wanted to spend time with me. It made me feel so good. We watched The Office and I made homemade ice cream.

It was the best night.

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